Book: The Cat Selector: How to choose the right cat for you

The Cat Selector
Can you resist opening this cute book?

Felinity deconstructed. Comedy.
176 pages, ☆☆☆ (three comic stars)

Browse through categories of “playful cats”, “talented cats”, “high-maintenance cats” and more to find your ideal cat with The Cat Selector. There are cat types I never even knew existed, some of which more closely resemble rabbits and piglets than cats.

I laughed out loud in the library while reading this book. Cats are supposed to be lovely and cute, but The Cat Selector deconstructs felinity into star-ratings and quantifiable attributes. I thought that trusting your feelings was a good way to choose a cat (or partner, or friends, or anything else that breathes); but the experts at The Cat Selector seem to think numbers and statistics are the way to go. This book treats living things as something completely unemotional, like petrol or phone credit: the juxtaposition of giant, heart-warming pictures and insensitive text made me laugh.

It’s hard to give a star-rating to such a funny book. Just read it yourselves. Then buy a theoretically-perfect cat and name it “Billy Beane”. ☆☆



3 thoughts on “Book: The Cat Selector: How to choose the right cat for you

  1. James – I think you could do very well if you wrote a book using this ‘formula’ applied to selecting a partner, or a friend. A good cover and some well placed reviews and it would sell really well. You probably don’t need to change too much of the language for choosing a cat. And, if you want it to look more scientific and thus credible, you could borrow some formulas from the Cycling for Women book, or similar source. To classify the partner types you just need to map them out, like tea, or music albums.

    It strikes me that you are perfectly suited to this task. Just think of how many you could sell if you wrote one for a Chinese audience.


    1. I fear I’ll end up with something that resembles The Personality Compass at best—which was a really awful book.

      A bigger problem, though, is after I’ve found the ideal cat (or friend or whatever), where do I find a *real* one? Is there a Cat Warehouse somewhere? Or a Friend Warehouse? Some of these cat types are really rare, so can I mail-order one from another state? Or custom-breed one?

      When it comes to things close to our hearts, there’s something magic about *not* understanding how these things work. I could categorise anything, but not cats. Not friends. And not women. 🙂

      If I ever do make that book, though… you’ll get first dibs at doing the photography!


      1. Ha! I forgot about the Personality Compass, you could use that too. I’m not talking about a “good” book, just one that sells. A truly awful book that sells, that is not a problem. A mash-up of these ones you seem to have a predilection for, to attract into your hands somehow. Why waste that talent? Not understanding how things work would be a pretty good qualification for writing an awful book. And if you set out to write one, then details and so on won’t get in the way – writer’s block unlikely, etc.
        I think my photos would be perfect in an awful book. 🙂


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