Films I watched from June to November 2012

Here are all the movies I’ve watched recently, summarised neatly into six words.

1. Fight Club — change your life via schizophrenic hallucination
2. Ice Age 4 — terrible pirate movie for inattentive brats
3. Madagascar 3 — another adorable urban/rural jungle adventure
4. Puss In Boots — respectable prequel to Shrek without Shrek
5. The Secret — law of attraction: thoughts become reality

Films I Watched in May 2012

Self-explanatory. Six words each.

1. Das Leben der Anderen — Renegade spy saves lives in USSR.
2. Elephant White — Bangkok is a mess. Don’t go.
3. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close — Book’s about Asperger’s. Film’s about family.
4. Fight Club — Change your life via schizophrenic hallucination.
5. Rogue — Giant crocodile leaves tourists stranded. Aaagh!
6. Trust — Always understand technology better than children.

Click here for more 6-word reviews.

Films I Watched in April 2012

Here are the films I’ve watched in April, 2012 neatly summarized in six words.

1. Beyond Reasonable Doubt (2009) – journalist sets up rogue Michael Douglas
2. Butterfly on a Wheel – jealousy triggers life-shattering revenge stunt
3. Cool It – Bjørn Lomborg balances polarized climate debate
4. London Avenue – these Londoners know something I don’t
5. Miracle at St Anna – delightful trilingual WW2 movie with love
6. Puss in Boots – distasteful shallow stupid fake Shrek movie
7. Stranger than Fiction – boring rendition of Fight Club‘s story
8. Unser Täglich Brot – beautiful footage of mass food production
9. War Horse — horse survives both sides of WW2

Films I Watched In March 2012

1. The Note II: Taking a Chance on Love – Chinese subtitles made this movie interesting
2. Catch Me If You Can – astonishing fugitive’s rags-to-riches illusion
3. 饮食男女 (Eat Drink Man Woman) – best grandfather cooks masterpieces for family
4. Madagascar – animals’ farcical expedition away from captivity
5. Ratatouille – little rat overcomes kitchen class prejudice
6. 和谐拯救危机 (Let Harmony Redeem) – Ancient Chinese culture solves world’s problems

Films I Watched in February 2012

Here’s a list of movies I watched in February 2012, summarised in exactly six words:

1. Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs: Fast, ridiculous. Deep characterisation for cartoon.
2. The Greatest Movie Ever Sold: Spurlock demonstrates No Logo with irony
3. The Lion King: Just can’t wait to be king!
4. 转山 (Kora): Youth’s spiritual bike journey to Lhasa
5. Over the Hedge: Grass animals take brief suburban excursion
6. Rabbit Hole: Snapshot of family mourning. No story.
7. Spring Summer Fall Winter and Spring: Korean Zen Buddhist scenery. Generations pass.
8. True Lies: Arnold Schwarznegger in comedy manhunt spoof
9. The War On Democracy: American puppet dictators tyrannise South America

Films I watched in January 2012

The Chinese internet makes it extremely easy to find, download and watch movies from around the world.

Here’s a list of movies I watched in January 2012, summarised in exactly six words:

1. 25th Hour: Edward Norton ties up loose ends
2. A Bug’s Life: Venezuelan Coup d’État in cartoon format
3. American Beauty: Mid-life crisis becomes calm tragedy
4. Antz: Woody Allen’s personal revolution, accepts society
5. Australia: Stunning photography, always running from something
6. Dancing with Wolves: White soldier defects to Indians, integrates
7. First Blood: Bang, bang, boom, boom, bang, boom
8. Food, Inc: Meat production is vile. Eat well
9. The Future of Food: Monsanto patents soy, corn. Next: oxygen
10. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo: Rape. Was there any other storyline?
11. The King’s Speech: King learns to speak, gains support
12. Melancholia: Melancholy spreads so gracefully, world ends
13. Moneyball: Rational Billy Beane almost revolutionised baseball
14. No Country for Old Men: Cold psychopath chases money across West
15. Schindler’s List: Schindler saves thousands as impostor capitalist
16. Silence of the Lambs: Psychopathic psychiatrist proves unrestrainable, cannibalistic
17. Toy Story 3: Buzz and Woody overthrow kindergarten tyrant
18. Waiting for Superman: Schools improved after idiots got fired
19. Wall-E: Adorable robot lovers rejuvenate consumerist hell